Poop and Maple Syrup Mess

I had just spent a couple of hours cleaning, sweeping and mopping. Marli, then one-and-a-half, was sitting on our hardwood floor playing as I put away the cleaning supplies. You know where this going, right? I returned from the cleaning closet and there she was: smearing poop on the floor with her hands and feet while giggling, laughing and clapping—yes, clapping with poopy hands.

I didn’t lose it. I’ve lost it at other times, but not this time. My partner, Christopher, marveled at this. Me, too. The secret? Expectations, or lack thereof.

I had been in the frame of mind that Marli was going to explore her world in messy ways and that getting messy is pretty fun for her. So I said something like, “Wow, that looks like fun, Marli, but poop needs to stay in the toilet.” We cleaned up. We talked about germs and how poop can make us sick. We read Mr. Rogers' book about going potty, which I believe led to her use of the potty by one-and-a-half…that and the no-diaper-around-the-house rule, which leads us back to the poop on the floor.

Before the "poopy germs are yucky" talk and the Mr. Rogers potty book, we washed up and finger-painted (with paint--with PAINT! I did not join her in the poopy mess.). I met her need to be creative through the medium of messy hands.

I re-mopped the floor and REALLY disinfected it. I didn’t shame or punish Marli, and she never did it again. Okay, she climbed up on the table (she started climbing before she could walk and I’ll talk about that tomorrow) and dumped a bottle of maple syrup on the floor once. Loads of fun for her. Sticky, gooy fun. Yuk. But, we handled that similarly and she hasn’t done it again.

Some things she does do again and again, like squeezing out the toothpaste. I cannot think of something toothpaste-like for her to play with instead, so I do my best to remember to put it away. If I don’t put it away, then I better expect to have a toothpaste mess to clean up with her and another conversation about why we don’t waste toothpaste.

She stopped wasting (in my opinion, but playing with in her opinion) the toothpaste around two-and-a-half years old. It took a year. Some conversations have to be repeated because our toddlers are little people who are still learning. Shaming and punishing doesn’t work, it pisses them off and they act out. The key for me is having realistic expectations. I know toddlers make messes. I know toddlers poop on clean floors and then play with it. I know that it’s my job to teach my toddler why we don’t do that. I know that she is fascinated by toothpaste for some reason and that she loves to explore it, so I know I must put it away up high.

So, the next time Marli acts like a toddler, I hope I can remain calm and deal with it. Expecting her not to be a messy toddler is what’s out of line, not poopy, syrupy messes.